Hope

I was fighting for life, before I lived

And what does Hope do?

She seeps through coiling life chords

Gasps to give me first breath

She protects me like a celestial aura

Snatching me from death

She swings with me through labour’s dance

And gives my life a ‘first’ chance

 

I watched my love walk away from me

And what does Hope do?

She takes me in her outstretched arms

And sings me a romantic song

The notes invoke desires unknown

Releasing emotions strong

She tells my heart,  a wounded dove

That “Beyond this love, lies love”

 

I gave up on her, abandoned her

And what does Hope do?

She twirls around my begging hand

Puts coins in my bowl

Harvesting strength from my hidden depths

She feeds my starving soul

She forgives me, this dying wretch

And clasps on tight to my arm outstretched

 

I lay down on the bed of death

And what does hope do?

She turns away, with a wicked smile

And looks down at her watch

She tears my heart asunder

The pain of death turned up a notch

She holds the feared scythe to my eye

And laughs hollow until I die

 

Heart Shaped Wound

Taking my fingers from the swell of her heart

And placing them on the trigger of my gun

Call it blindness, go on, give it a name

But it’s hard to see that she isn’t the one.

Severing roots of a seven year old tree

That promised rosy blossoms – eternal bloom

Every year and every tear would watch its growth

The tree of love swaying amidst the forest of doom

The lips are locked, the fate has been sealed

Our soft love song is reaching a bloody crescendo

“I love you to death” the words that escape me

Are no longer just a harmless innuendo

If I can’t love her, nobody can

Her heart, her body was mine alone

She died by my hand, she died in my arms

The queen of my heart lay there, dethroned

Now in another woman’s arms I lie

The same love song for her I croon

As though nothing remains of her but a memory,

A coffin, 6 feet of earth and a Heart Shaped Wound

Living in a Memory

Hey… After a LONG time (Again!), I wrote this… it’s the lyrics to a song who’s bass & basic chords i’ve composed, I’m hoping to have this as my 1st ever debut composition… Read & see if you’ll like…

A House built from Memories
Four walls closing inward
Bricks crumbling in my mind
Like clipped wings of a bird
A window to the solemn world
Shows me your once smiling face
A brightness filling your senses
A sight I haven’t seen for days…

I don’t remember how it happened
I held onto you so tight but you broke free
I can’t imagine myself living in a world
That doesn’t have you
So I’m living in a Memory

She stands on that railway line
Derailing my train of thought
I can’t let her slip away from me
Cause she’s all my mind has got
She’s left me in this mortal world
Too cold now to stay alive
As good as dead without you
But with you I couldn’t survive

(CH)

Bridge: We lived all our lives on the edge of our seats
We lived all our lives with the sea at our feet
I wish I didn’t survive by the skin of my teeth
And turn to find you gone
And turn to find me alone
And now my memory it fails me ‘cause… (CH)

NICE??? Learn it up, ’cause someday you’ll be singing along

Pandemonium

Moving through circumferences on the face of a clock

Pillars and posts go gliding by like clouds

Running in seeming circles around the same block

Pandemonium, a warning screamed aloud.

Like a lotus in a swamp, the idle man stands and watches

His eye-balls swing in sockets nearly hollow

Looks, smirking, as 7 pm quickens us a few notches

And down the horizon a running sun he follows

Dashing, crawling, cannot stop because the point

Constantly moves, leaving the broken in its wake

And pierces those that a second of rest appoint

And scoops around its face those who aren’t awake

We’ve slowly quickened our time to pandemonium

When at every success another one’s due

Responsible for pushing this constant pendulumn

Life is the longest thing you’ll ever do…

Catalyst

(Written when I was quite high…)

Silver thread gleams –  weft in a corner

Arachnid making a home in my cranium

I open my eyes to a sprawling blue brightness

As the smoke billows steam engine carbons

Logarithms and theorems fall like apples on my head

Defying the gravity that works my mind, undiscovered

Hydrogen and Oxygen break waves on my face

All heat is transferred, yet the world remains ice cold

She secretes a silk, building her home’s foundation

Baffling your text-book logic with psychadelic design

A survival instinct – primal, yet chemical in its imbalance

Signs of a science, no experiment could know

Could never tell when in phenomena would give

In all the complexity of your compounds, a reason

Why enzymes playing biochemistry for decades

Go still, with the passing of a single, silver capsule.

Crossroads

Today as I burn away the midnight oil

Put afterthought aside and stare at blanks

I wander inwards, cross a road inside my head

Ending up at the crossroads sobriety hasforever feared

I stare at my fingers, I want to see wings

But I see knuckles white from gripping my cage

Eyes fixed at a screen I thought was my outlet

Realising I’m using my guile to ensnare myself

My youth is fading, dreams passing by like clouds

While I look up thinking I’ll float on them someday

One day these white clouds will turn the deepest grey

And rain down, extinguishing the fire raging within

Don’t show me your treasures and white envelopes

Envelopes just envelope me with hatred

Don’t lead me to slaughter with promises

I’ve seen you turn gold into straw

Don’t sell me captivity in the name of freedom

If it’s real freedom, it cannot be sold

You can’t clip wings you have never seen

You can’t gag a voice that never knew existed

You can push my down, but never keep me down

I belong with the birds… I belong with my words.

My Vow (Raksha Bandhan)

There’s nothing more expressive than a love

Who in intertwining on a wrist can find

The deeper meaning stitched on a thread

A single Expression of an endless time

A single mark of unbreakable vow

A promise, the tip of a raging flame

Wool and cotton bring metaphoric reason

To the invisible bond that ties two hearts

With a thread more precious that gold itself

By a million times if I may be so bold

As to quantify How Much I Love You

Then nights would be starless forever

Then waves would crash upon sandless shore

And oceans, rivers, seas and lakes would dry

There will be no history or proof of mankind

And mathematicians would go insane

Because I would pull sea and land together

Use up all the stars, the sand and drops of water

I’d use all of past’s men and the greatest tools

And would still not be able to begin to fathom

The numerical value I would put to your love

I love you more than numbers grow

I love you more than God can count

And I swear by the thread upon my hand

This gigantic proportion of love, is only today’s

Droplet Vision

Staring through the protecting glass

Transparent barrier keeps the rain abay

Feeble fingers smudge on a two-way canvas

Watching the urchins below at play.

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The inner eye flashes back to freedom

Where heart elated as rain poured down

And body drenched – and throat sang out

In droplets for all my fears to drown

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But rain brings thunder – cracking out a curse

Tires screeched blood mixed with fuel and rain

He died, I spewed from death’s clenched jaws

Both body and hopes never to walk again.

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Droplets on my window, pain on my pane.

As drizzle drums upon my puddled hell

I look out at my adversary, my solace, my friend

And push away my wheelchair, my seated cell.

True Meaning

My legs can walk a 1000 miles yet never know a step

My mind can go where eagles dare but never learn a thing

I may never love, never hate, never win, never lose

Never have to fight life’s battles

‘Cause I’m already retreating field

I know I can’t be perfect… can you?

But it doesn’t bother me…

For I will never discover true meaning

And if the answers never find my way

Through the complex maze that is my human brain

I pray that I may be done pondering

And wandering

And wondering

And realise, that in uncertainty lies humanity

I don’t know, therefore,

I am.

The Journey

Its been a LONG time! This is one I wrote out of boredom on the train from Delhi back to Bangalore…

Sweet December strikes a last 31

I drink to my friends, ‘fore final run.

Why cry when I’m off to a better place?

Wipe your tears Mary, besmile your pretty face.

When my time’s come, the time’s to go

Blended body & soil – souls skyward flow

And when hurt afoot by thorns and such

Mighty Oden descends, to lend me crutch.

A band of souls – ‘gether the journey we make

Down the one path we can’t choose not to take

A trip down history to meet forefathers of Yule

A trip down memory – the travails of a fool.

Through hardships – in distance lies destination

Smiling through dry lips – as we approach salvation

And leap as the spirit finally reaches its home

Forever one with God – Amen! Ameen! Hari Om!!!